my sweetest downfall

Regina Spektor: "Samson"

The feeling of being between places. I am on the bus to Lons-le-Saunier, I am on the train to Belfort, it is before sunrise, it is late at night. Pulled, tensile. I feel my heart expanding and thinning out. Transit, the safest place to be: nothing is asked, I can sit in the darkness outside the moving train. Inside the train.

The yellowed vinyl seats. Other passengers breathing.

There's nothing I regret, only things I miss. Now is for going into the world, finding the rest of everything.

You are my sweetest downfall/ I loved you first, I loved you first/ Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth/ I have to go, I have to go/ Your hair was long when we first met.